I am watching Campbell Brown on CNN. She hosts "CNN Election Center," a typically insipid political chat show. I am watching her discuss Barack Obama's trip right now. So, does his trip lend itself a substantive discussion of the deteriorating political and security situation in Afghanistan? Of course not. She just spent fifteen minutes on whether the trip itself is a "photo-op."
To provide insightful analysis, she has on some doofus named Lars Larson, who is a fill-in host for Michael Savage, who is busy spending his days "savaging" kids with autism. Along with him on the panel are sone weak-wristed liberal kid and Gloria Borger, who is made up like an urban geisha. It is all whether Obama or McCain are "winning" or "losing" based on the "fawning" Obama is receiving for his trip. In fact, towards the end of the program, there was a five minute piece on how much of a "photo op" the trip was.
There was not any reporting on the hours and hours of substantive discussion between Obama, Kharzai, Maliki, Petreaus, Crocker, etc. Too challenging for Brown and the circus of intellectually deformed misfits she surrounds herself with.
"They're fawning all over him," Brown kept screeching periodically. Or she would spit out that Obama was on his "world adventure." Adventure? Going to Jalalabad, an increasingly dangerous region near the Pakistan border, to meeting with regional Afghan leaders and military officials is like hiking the Appalachian trail.
Conservative connections? She screws Dan Senor, former Coalition Provisional Authority spokesperson, routinely. Not a big deal since they are married. But, you are what you eat. If I am what I eat, I just became a handful of spanish nuts.
There is little doubt that Ms. Brown's thinly veiled contempt arises from the notion that Obama is too "uppity." And, thus, standing up for all misunderestimated grads of schools like hers, Regis University (whose sister school for women is of course called, the Lee Griffith Women's College).
Monday, July 21, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Her Powers Failed Her
The women's women's superhero competition took place this weekend, pitting the strongest supernatural women of the world against each other. It is important to clear one thing up at the outset. Many women think that Ms. America is this country's representative superhero. She's not. "She" is the winner of the annual competition to be Captain America's wife for a year. No superpowers; just lots of low self-esteem.
No, the female superhero representing the United States is Ms. U.S.A. After months of brutal bloodsoaked domestic combat, Ms. U.S.A. conquered and killed hundreds of women for the opportunity to take on the greatest female superheros from other countries.
Despite the United States being considered a "superpower," when it comes to supernatural combat, that title is a misnomer. The Nordic nations have dominated many competitions, which is not so surprising given the fact that many of them are the descendants of brutally effective Norse gods. Puerto Rico has produced many winners as well, but surprisingly these effective superheros are unable to secure modest goals such as stopping the bombing in Vieques (I imagine one of these women being able to easily catch one of the bombs and throw it back at the planes that launched them). Much less Puerto Rican independence.
If you have the time, you have to check out the timeline of winners and world events available on the Ms. Universe cite. The organizers helpfully explain how the competition winners were responsible for key world events. For example, did you know that in 2004, Australian Jennifer Hawkins won; months later Saddam Hussein was found hiding at an isolated farm near Tikrit. Coincidence? The pagent officials hint otherwise. In 2001, Denise Quinones wins the pagent; later that year terrorists strike the WTC and Pentagon. Coincidence? The pagent timeline hints otherwise.
As noted above, the Americans have failed to show up on numerous occasions. This year's Ms. U.S.A. Her powers include "the wave of megavanity." But, there are side effects. Namely a massive loss of balance. She unleashed her powers at a crucial moment during the competition, only to be felled by the flipside of her powers. Notwithstanding the fall, she managed to kill Ms. Trinidad & Tobago, Ms. Austria and Ms. Bhutan:
No, the female superhero representing the United States is Ms. U.S.A. After months of brutal bloodsoaked domestic combat, Ms. U.S.A. conquered and killed hundreds of women for the opportunity to take on the greatest female superheros from other countries.
Despite the United States being considered a "superpower," when it comes to supernatural combat, that title is a misnomer. The Nordic nations have dominated many competitions, which is not so surprising given the fact that many of them are the descendants of brutally effective Norse gods. Puerto Rico has produced many winners as well, but surprisingly these effective superheros are unable to secure modest goals such as stopping the bombing in Vieques (I imagine one of these women being able to easily catch one of the bombs and throw it back at the planes that launched them). Much less Puerto Rican independence.
If you have the time, you have to check out the timeline of winners and world events available on the Ms. Universe cite. The organizers helpfully explain how the competition winners were responsible for key world events. For example, did you know that in 2004, Australian Jennifer Hawkins won; months later Saddam Hussein was found hiding at an isolated farm near Tikrit. Coincidence? The pagent officials hint otherwise. In 2001, Denise Quinones wins the pagent; later that year terrorists strike the WTC and Pentagon. Coincidence? The pagent timeline hints otherwise.
As noted above, the Americans have failed to show up on numerous occasions. This year's Ms. U.S.A. Her powers include "the wave of megavanity." But, there are side effects. Namely a massive loss of balance. She unleashed her powers at a crucial moment during the competition, only to be felled by the flipside of her powers. Notwithstanding the fall, she managed to kill Ms. Trinidad & Tobago, Ms. Austria and Ms. Bhutan:
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Mixed Nuts
I have had arguments and fist fights with other men. In arguments, I wield logic. In physical altercations, I use my fists and legs. To anyone who may try and fight me, I will tell you right now, I won't try and punch you in the face. I'll kick your knees and try and take your legs out. No legs, no punching power. You are more likely to have shatter knee caps than a black eye if you choose to fight with me.
Everyone has their own style. A gay friend of mine in law school once revealed his unique, possibly effective way of fighting: he said he'd bite his opponents eyes out. I am not sure that is physically possible, but it sent a chill down my spine and made me think twice of scrapping with him. And, as anyone who has actually been in a fight knows, it is 80% mental.
I have never thought about grabbing a man's testicles and detaching them from his body. Castration is what you do to child molesters and eunuchs. Not to someone you disagree with. As a man, you know that it is wildly irresponsible to dream about detaching man's testicles from their body. Jesse Jackson's dreams of ripping Obama's balls off is the stuff of deranged, violent fantasy. Or Japanese porn. One of the two.
Everyone has their own style. A gay friend of mine in law school once revealed his unique, possibly effective way of fighting: he said he'd bite his opponents eyes out. I am not sure that is physically possible, but it sent a chill down my spine and made me think twice of scrapping with him. And, as anyone who has actually been in a fight knows, it is 80% mental.
I have never thought about grabbing a man's testicles and detaching them from his body. Castration is what you do to child molesters and eunuchs. Not to someone you disagree with. As a man, you know that it is wildly irresponsible to dream about detaching man's testicles from their body. Jesse Jackson's dreams of ripping Obama's balls off is the stuff of deranged, violent fantasy. Or Japanese porn. One of the two.
Monday, July 7, 2008
The UnHillarys
I have been stoned by baboons. Note, I said "by" and not "with." The latter would have been decidedly more enjoyable than the true horrer I faced. And, no I am not encouraging monkeys to smoke; I am very well aware that providing tabacco products is illegal in certain states. It is yet another reason why Vermont is known as the "no fun" state.
What is my point? I can take criticism pretty easily (I am not sure what was worse, the baboons throwing rocks or flashing their inflamed asses at us to underscore the point they were making by throwing rocks). But, I find it considerably harder to deal with unintended encouragement. And, therefore I find myself befuddled by the pro-PUMA comments Ted has left on my post about the comments on the noquarterusa.net website. I appreciate the traffic for traffic's sake. And I appreciate Ted taking the time to post not one, but two comments.
But, I hadn't realized that I was being ambivalent. So perhaps I should clear something up: I think a significant percentage of the people who post on noquarterusa.net are, for lack of a better term, lunatics. Those quotes from my previous entry, I found them crazed, not profound. Blinded by anger and irrationality, the authors of those comments spewed some of the most venemous, incoherent nonsense I have ever seen on the web. They were driven by a hatred of Obama that is beyond pathological.
In the interest of fairness, I visited the site "Ted" recommended "PUMAs 4 Palin." I cannot figure out what, from the two sole posts that say nothing substantive, would compel anyone who agrees with the Democrats on policy issues to vote for Alaska's grossly inexperienced freshman governor. Frankly, my cat's asthmatic wheezing is more meaningful than anything I read either on the blog or, for the most part, in the comments. Palin was an inconsequential local, elected official who won largely because the incumbent Republican governor was awash in corruption and may be indicted some day. She is nothing more than Republican blank slate who, troublingly, appears to hate polar bears.
If it isn't obvious, I am not trying to convince any of these sociopaths to vote for Obama, because they are Republicans masquerading like Clinton supporters to gain publicity and to sell the knuckleheaded, lazy reporters (like the nihilists at Politico.com) looking for a story to write during an exhausted presidential campaign a fabricated tale of Democratic disunity. And as someone who has many Republican friends, the noquarterusa, Hillaryis44 sociopaths are in no way representative of conservative ideals. Just their own, in some cases bigoted, depravity.
Hopefully that clears things up. But enough of that. The anti-Obamaites on these sites love to compare him to Chauncey Gardiner from "Being There." By engaging them, I fear I am not heeding the words of another character in that movie, Ben Rand: To raise your rifle is to lower your sights.
What is my point? I can take criticism pretty easily (I am not sure what was worse, the baboons throwing rocks or flashing their inflamed asses at us to underscore the point they were making by throwing rocks). But, I find it considerably harder to deal with unintended encouragement. And, therefore I find myself befuddled by the pro-PUMA comments Ted has left on my post about the comments on the noquarterusa.net website. I appreciate the traffic for traffic's sake. And I appreciate Ted taking the time to post not one, but two comments.
But, I hadn't realized that I was being ambivalent. So perhaps I should clear something up: I think a significant percentage of the people who post on noquarterusa.net are, for lack of a better term, lunatics. Those quotes from my previous entry, I found them crazed, not profound. Blinded by anger and irrationality, the authors of those comments spewed some of the most venemous, incoherent nonsense I have ever seen on the web. They were driven by a hatred of Obama that is beyond pathological.
In the interest of fairness, I visited the site "Ted" recommended "PUMAs 4 Palin." I cannot figure out what, from the two sole posts that say nothing substantive, would compel anyone who agrees with the Democrats on policy issues to vote for Alaska's grossly inexperienced freshman governor. Frankly, my cat's asthmatic wheezing is more meaningful than anything I read either on the blog or, for the most part, in the comments. Palin was an inconsequential local, elected official who won largely because the incumbent Republican governor was awash in corruption and may be indicted some day. She is nothing more than Republican blank slate who, troublingly, appears to hate polar bears.
If it isn't obvious, I am not trying to convince any of these sociopaths to vote for Obama, because they are Republicans masquerading like Clinton supporters to gain publicity and to sell the knuckleheaded, lazy reporters (like the nihilists at Politico.com) looking for a story to write during an exhausted presidential campaign a fabricated tale of Democratic disunity. And as someone who has many Republican friends, the noquarterusa, Hillaryis44 sociopaths are in no way representative of conservative ideals. Just their own, in some cases bigoted, depravity.
Hopefully that clears things up. But enough of that. The anti-Obamaites on these sites love to compare him to Chauncey Gardiner from "Being There." By engaging them, I fear I am not heeding the words of another character in that movie, Ben Rand: To raise your rifle is to lower your sights.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Dario Revisted
Danny D has pointed out that I have been a little harsh in my assessment of Dario. Was he lip syncing? I'll take Danny D at his word, but I am almost 100% sure that the dude doing the sign language for Dario at the Capital Pride performance was faking. Seriously, what does the arm movement from the "cabbage patch" mean to deaf people?
Frankly, I was just happy my second experience at a predominantly gay place/event went better than my first. Regardless, Dario accomplished one mission: he made me interested in knowing more about him. A guy whose musical collection is more of the Hugh Masekela, Fela Kuti, Mulatu Astatke and Mos Def vein wanted to know about this young purveyor of synth pop.
Finding information about Dario is surprisingly harder than I thought. There were significantly more Darios on the web than I had anticipated. Dario Francitti takes up a lot of the Dario oxygen in the web. I had allocated myself an hour to research Dario, and Francitti distracted me for 45 minutes of it. What can I say, we share two things in common: we like to drive fast and want (and in his case does) want to [insert what ever verb you deem appropriate for a newly married man] Ashely Judd.
To narrow the search, I entered "Dario singer" on Google and ended up with this clown. His hypnotic cube had me wanting to kill the Moors or whatever it was the Gypsy Kings song he was covering was instructing me to do. I took a crap after listening to his (their?) cover of "Me and Mrs. Jones;" I am not sure if the two events were connected or not.
Probably the coolest Dario I came across was Dario Moreno, who despite the latin sounding name was a Turkish Jew who won fame in France doing bossa nova. I wished he had been my dad.
I admit I am a computer illerate, but eventually I found Dario's web site again. According to Dario's bio, he "seemed destined for greatness at the early age of three." That is impressive. The only time I felt destined to be anything was when I was appointed the class grammarian by my 9th grade English teacher. After that, I thought I was destined never to get laid.
Being able to sing is a rare commodity. M is a phenomenal singer. She has no idea whether I can sing or not. She's never asked, taking my gutteral speaking voice as evidence enough that it wouldn't be worth finding out. About the only thing I sing well is the Michael McDonald part of the duet he did with Patty Labelle, "On My Own."
Dario has made it onto several programs, has put out a couple of albums, and has performed with some major artists. Something I will never can or will do. I, on the other hand, have won a read-a-thon when I was 8, once hugged Mikael Gorbachev (af, told Spike Lee he has to "step it up on the next movie," once got into an nearly violent stare-off with Bob Dole, and sat together with Oliver North on a long uncomfortable flight from Salt Lake City to D.C. Significance? We report, you decide.
Frankly, I was just happy my second experience at a predominantly gay place/event went better than my first. Regardless, Dario accomplished one mission: he made me interested in knowing more about him. A guy whose musical collection is more of the Hugh Masekela, Fela Kuti, Mulatu Astatke and Mos Def vein wanted to know about this young purveyor of synth pop.
Finding information about Dario is surprisingly harder than I thought. There were significantly more Darios on the web than I had anticipated. Dario Francitti takes up a lot of the Dario oxygen in the web. I had allocated myself an hour to research Dario, and Francitti distracted me for 45 minutes of it. What can I say, we share two things in common: we like to drive fast and want (and in his case does) want to [insert what ever verb you deem appropriate for a newly married man] Ashely Judd.
To narrow the search, I entered "Dario singer" on Google and ended up with this clown. His hypnotic cube had me wanting to kill the Moors or whatever it was the Gypsy Kings song he was covering was instructing me to do. I took a crap after listening to his (their?) cover of "Me and Mrs. Jones;" I am not sure if the two events were connected or not.
Probably the coolest Dario I came across was Dario Moreno, who despite the latin sounding name was a Turkish Jew who won fame in France doing bossa nova. I wished he had been my dad.
I admit I am a computer illerate, but eventually I found Dario's web site again. According to Dario's bio, he "seemed destined for greatness at the early age of three." That is impressive. The only time I felt destined to be anything was when I was appointed the class grammarian by my 9th grade English teacher. After that, I thought I was destined never to get laid.
Being able to sing is a rare commodity. M is a phenomenal singer. She has no idea whether I can sing or not. She's never asked, taking my gutteral speaking voice as evidence enough that it wouldn't be worth finding out. About the only thing I sing well is the Michael McDonald part of the duet he did with Patty Labelle, "On My Own."
Dario has made it onto several programs, has put out a couple of albums, and has performed with some major artists. Something I will never can or will do. I, on the other hand, have won a read-a-thon when I was 8, once hugged Mikael Gorbachev (af, told Spike Lee he has to "step it up on the next movie," once got into an nearly violent stare-off with Bob Dole, and sat together with Oliver North on a long uncomfortable flight from Salt Lake City to D.C. Significance? We report, you decide.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Meanwhile, At The Pro-Hillary Sites
Some selected comments from noquarterusa.net, the principle "PUMA" blog out there:
- "Shameless Michelle Obama got by on affirmative action." In other words, successful black women are innately dumb and need state help to mask their literacy. I don't remember Hillary initimating that during her campaign.
- "Obama is learning the art of deception from the best. Hitler’s methods to come to power were very similar. (I am not compering him to Hitler, only the methods.)" Because Obama is only Hilterian, not actually Hitler himself.
- "BO is a classic sociopath with a narcissistic ego structure." I know they are talkng about Obama, but *sniff* I feel like they are talking about...ME!
- "Obama is considered by his zealots to be the Son of God."
- "He’s not a Christian he’s a nation of islam groupie."
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