2008: Year In Review

After reading this year in review on several blogs, I thought I would give it a shot:

I got in a car accident and had surgery, the latter for the first time.

I let another person bathe and feed me without feeling beholden or self-conscious.

I amazed myself and found I had it in me.

I ate the best meal of my life with the love of my life.

I remained wondrous at the depth of my friends' love for me.

"Apple Bottom Jeans (Boots With The Furrr)" propelled me toward my future.

I saw my parents watch their daughter grow up.

I realized that my siblings' love for me has no limit.

I spent valuable quality time with my ATL sisters.

I got four job offers and one promotion!

I started learning to take it in stride.

For two weeks, Joseph K. and I lived inside a history book.

I continued my search for the line between compromise and giving in.

I watched the son of African immigrant become President with my son of African immigrants.

The highlight of hosting Thanksgiving was spending time in the kitchen with my brother and sister.

I grew closer to my father.

Learning to adjust has been hard to adjust to.

I fell deeper in love.

I realized you could love and hate someone at the very same time.

I reconnected with old friends (thanks Facebook!).

I celebrated my own bachelorette weekend!

I learned to take people for who they are.

I found a new favorite book.

I became an Auntie, attended two weddings, and marveled at how time flies.

I stopped taking it personally.

I helped plan a wedding.

I started decorating my home, and found that I am extremely indecisive.

I cooked more and became Iron Chef!

I struggled with my fear of change while watching everything change, and soldiered on.

I cried.

My tumultuous relationship with food continued.

I puffed up with the pride of a mother, watching my sister cross the grad school graduation stage.

I rediscovered the joys of rose wine.

I had the mirror thrust in front of my face.

I traveled to West Virginia, Atlanta, San Francisco, San Antonio, NYC, Philadelphia, the Dominican Republic, London, and Turkey (Istanbul, the Turquoise Coast, Bodrum, Izmir, Ephesus, and Cappadocia).

I started saying, "my parents' house" instead of "home."

I exhaled.

Unclench It, Howie

Howie Kurtz has started an "Obama Adulation Watch," his snarky attempt to point out how the press is somehow in the bag for Obama.  I am starting my own "Howard Kurtz Fox Cocksucking Watch" to point out just how deep down his throat Fox has got its cock.

A little context. Kurtz purports to be an objective reporter on the media. Because the press needs to cover itself for the good of the republic. And, he's supposedly an unbiased navel gazer. Yet, he's married to a Republican activist/consultant. But, come on JK, you say, you are assessing guilt by association.

Shut up, fool. I have the facts.  It seems like every week, Kurtz does a profile in the Post extolling the virtue of some element of the Fox empire.  For example, last week, he did a puff piece on Brett Baier, the well-coifed cipher who is replacing Brit Hume on the 6PM Special report.  Basically, it was how Brett shits awesome, so Fox will be fine after the changeover.  The day before -- literally the day before -- he did a puff piece on Liz Claman, a Fox Business Channel host. The gist of that piece is that she works hard and is not as dumb as she might seem.  This week he had a pice about how non-diverse the White House press corps is; his main example of a progressive network on race: Fox with their WH correspondent, Wendall Goler. 

So, do the math: Kurtz thinks Obama got a pass and wants to hold truth to power. And, he has Fox News cock breath. That adds up to a big nothing according to my math. The Post needs to eliminate. Unclench your jaw, Howie. And someone at the Post needs to offer him a buyout.

Lassie Kicks Moses' Ass

I thought Sidney Poitier was dead. Turns out I was wrong. I was wondering about it, which led to my latest mode of distraction -- the Wikepedia chain. Which ended with me having to get on a conference call, right after I learned Lassie is considered more heroic than Moses. Well, maybe, but first how I got there.

I looked up Sidney Poitier on Wikipedia, and thing that hits you first is how much Poitier's career bottomed out in the 1970s.  He went from an Academy Award in Lillies in the Field (1963) to goofing around with Bill Cosby in a trio of blaxploitation, slapstick films (Uptown Saturday Night, Let's Do It again, A Piece of the Action).  Thankfully, he hung up his acting chops after Sneakers.

But, some of his more underrated films are the Tibbs trilogoy. The most famous of them being In The Heat of the Night.  But, They Call Me Mr. Tibbs and The Organization are fresh in their own rights (if more blaxploitationy). I clicked on the summary for In the Heat of the Night, and there was a link to Virgil Tibbs' page. As I read up on the main character, Virgil Tibbs, I saw a reference and a link to the AFI list of 100 top Heros and Villains.  I clicked on that link. Tibbs was listed the number 19 hero of all time. 

Which is where I saw that the people at AFI were more impressed Lassie's heroics than Moses'. On the one hand, you have an affable Collie who keeps saving the same kid who keeps falling down the same well. On the other hand, you have a conflicted, tormented prophet leading tens of thousands of enslaved Jews to the promised land. Who knew the selectors at AFI were all about the personality. If you are wondering, Tibbs ranked above both of them.  Poitier. Click. Click. Click. Lassie beats Moses. I can spend hours on Wikipedia just following the links.

As I mentioned earlier, the same list has the top 50 villains of all time. Number 1, Hannibal Lecter. Jaws? Number 18! What?!? Think about it this way, if Jaws was Hannibal Lecter he'd eat everyone in sight. Jaws fucked everything up. He wasn't selective. If Hannibal Lecter was a shark, he'd be all selective and shit. Spewing shark philosophy and trying to make a gourmet meal out some snorkler who fit into his weird, psychotic eschatology.  I am sorry, Jaws was more ruthless. He had no soul. He's savage; he ate a boat to get at Roy Schneider and Richard Dreyfus. I think only Glenn Close can claim to have done something comparable in a movie.